Click "Log In" to log via Synapse SSO

What your favorite band says about you...

What your favorite band says about you...- Wall of Cool at Synapse Product Development

From snarky frustrated-writer site McSweeneys… while some seem to have been created from a random put-down generator, others made me laugh right out loud:


What your Favorite Classic Rock Band says About You (Part One)<> as well as What your Favorite Classic Rock Band says About You (Part Two)<>



The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.


The Who: You own a Goldwing with a baby-changing station.


Ted Nugent: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe.


The Rolling Stones: You own three cars and no stereo.


Canned Heat: You own three stereos and no car.


The Beatles: You can do exactly 1.5 pull-ups.


Badfinger: You are a Beatle.


Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you.


Led Zeppelin: The first three things you smoked were banana peels, catnip, and poppies, in that order.


Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.


The Kinks: You have bad teeth and are good in bed.


The Guess Who: You have good teeth and are bad in bed.


Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting unventilated rooms.


David Bowie: There is still, somewhere, a Dig Dug or Zaxxon machine with your high score on it.


Mott the Hoople: You are David Bowie.


The Moody Blues: You are a former volunteer at the Liberace museum, a serial killer, or both.


The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the seventies make your daughter's roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.


T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender.


The Eagles: You can only reach orgasm while listening to talk radio.


Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid.


Thin Lizzy: You are often forced to change or cancel your plans due to "NO LOITERING" signs.


ZZ Top: Your favorite Hank Williams is Hank Williams, Jr.


Chicago: You are incapable of talking about Chicago without mentioning their horn section.


Quicksilver Messenger Service: You become sullen when people don't stick around while you fix their vacuum cleaners.


Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat.


Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats.


Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats.


AC/DC: You only remove your socks to shower, and then only reluctantly.


Aerosmith: You know a store that still sells puffy Reeboks.


Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Jeep.


Sammy Hagar: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Subaru Brat.


Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You have an actual urine stain on your Subaru Brat.


Uriah Heep: You are the cause of the urine stain.


Santana: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes.


Rainbow: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral.


Foreigner: You have a severely wrinkled Jane Fonda poster under your bed.


Styx: You have a severely wrinkled Foreigner poster under your bed.


Allman Brothers Band: You do not own a bong, but can quickly make one from a piece of fruit or an abandoned toilet.


Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.


Cream: You know a guy who knows a guy who worked on Star Wars.


Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.


Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp.


Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys.


Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow.


Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day.


Blue Cheer: You have a subset of friends whose sole purpose is to hold your hair while you vomit.


Boston: Your best friend really likes Blue Cheer.


Steely Dan: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Remembrance of Things Past.


Fleetwood Mac: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of The Hobbit.


Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies.


Mountain: You have snorted cocaine off a Blue Oyster Cult record.


Nazareth: You have snorted cocaine off a member of Mountain.


Hawkwind: You sell cocaine to Nazareth fans.


Molly Hatchet: You sell baking soda to Hawkwind fans and tell them it's cocaine.


Jethro Tull: You have a favorite rune.


Kiss: You have partied on a boat in a driveway.


Queen: You have injured several people by jogging into them.


The Byrds: There is a thin layer of sand on the bottom shelf of your fridge.


Bob Dylan: You have the Swiss army knife that comes with a map reader and tweezers.


Electric Light Orchestra: You have three lava lamp bases and five tops.


Mike Oldfield: You have five lava lamp bases and three tops.


The Beach Boys: You won't live anywhere without a built-in microwave.


The Band: You have misspelled your name while carving it into a picnic table.


Genesis: You know what a steeplechase is.


The Zombies: You know what French cuffs are.


The Doobie Brothers: You have swallowed exactly two spiders—one accidentally, one on purpose.


Warren Zevon: You have a jacket with elbow patches.


.38 Special: You have a tattoo of an animal driving a vehicle.


Bob Seger: You lost your virginity in a Chevette with a spoiler.


The Georgia Satellites: You lost your virginity in a Chevette that was being towed.


REO Speedwagon: You have a favorite brand of lip balm.


Bay City Rollers: Your shower has flower-shaped traction pads.


Bruce Springsteen: Your ringtone is either "Takin' Care of Business" or "Chariots of Fire."


UFO: You have burned yourself while urinating on a campfire.


Slade: You have smoked speed through a TV antenna.


Procol Harum: You have smoked hash through an antique rifle.


Heart: You have smoked chamomile tea through a hookah.


Alice Cooper: You have a photo of your dog wearing sunglasses on your phone.


Foghat: You swim in man-made lakes exclusively.


Stevie Ray Vaughan: You have a bolo tie in the shape of a gun, guitar, or state.


Stealer's Wheel: You own an adding machine.


Traffic: You have several incense scars.


Emerson, Lake and Palmer: You have several self-inflicted incense scars.


Jackson Browne: Your favorite cola is RC Cola.


Hall and Oates: You have successfully fought someone off with a ski.


Blind Faith: You constantly misuse the word "penultimate."


Billy Squier: Your vanity plates say ROKRMOM.


Neil Young: You know at least three stores that sell bidis.


America: You think America is Neil Young.


Joni Mitchell: You have accidentally eaten more than half of a scented candle.


Montrose: You have used a bandana as a coffee filter.


Steppenwolf: You have three or more cigarette burns in hard-to-reach places.


Golden Earring: You have three or more intentional cigarillo burns.


Jimmy Buffett: You have used AAA as a cab.


Brownsville Station: You have tried to use AAA without a car.


Meat Loaf: You have a mustard stain on your mousepad.


Joe Walsh: You have fired a gun while in your underwear.


Don Henley: You have been shot at while in your underwear.


Bread: You have a cordless phone with an extendable antenna.


Donovan: You have a non-mammal pet with a human name, e.g. an iguana named Phillip.


Joe Jackson: You are an excellent speller.


Steve Miller Band: You have not yet figured out how to turn off the hourly beep on your digital watch.


Grand Funk Railroad: You have become stuck trying to retrieve a quarter from behind a stove.


Blood, Sweat & Tears: You have become stuck trying to retrieve your friend who likes Grand Funk Railroad from behind a stove.


Little River Band: You have used a riding lawnmower to flee across state lines.


Big Brother and the Holding Company: Your coffee table is a big wooden spool.


Alabama: You are from Alabama.


Kansas: Your first kiss was with a Toto fan.


Toto: You don't really remember your first kiss.


MC5: You have barbecued a whole chicken at 3 am.


Ozzy Osbourne: You have barbecued a frozen pizza at 3 am.


Dio: You have accidentally dropped a flashlight into a barbecue.


King Crimson: You have spent an entire afternoon watching a screensaver.


Eric Clapton: You yell when you play table tennis.


Marshall Tucker Band: You wear black socks with white shoes.


Little Feat: You have hit a baby with a frisbee.


Buffalo Springfield: You have broken a reinforced window with a frisbee.


Blackfoot: You have stolen a wine cooler from the back of a pickup truck.


New Riders of the Purple Sage: You have been bitten by a Blackfoot fan while trying to get your wine cooler back.


Marco Micheletti- at Synapse Product Development

Manufacturing Engineer


Employee Since



Seattle - Decatur